I Just Recently Broke Up With My Girlfriend Of 5 Years

She said it was all friendly but I didn’t buy it since it has happened once before back in November where she was telling some other guy that she loved him but told me she was just playing with him and liked the attention since i wasn’t around. We are long distance. Yes, I know. I’m blind to have stayed with her. Anyway, we tried talking/working it out but I was so full of anger, we didn’t get anywhere really. When the initial anger subsided, (which took all of about a week), and I finally came around to saying that if she was willing to try to work it out, I would be too…she ends up telling me she needs time and space. This is where things get tricky and crazy. She tells me she still loves me, still wants to be with me but needs me to be there with her and that she is sick of being in a long distance relationship. My ego gets bruised and I ask her if there is someone else. She swears to me there isn’t. She says I’m the only one she wants to be with. Those are all the things she says but her actions suggest otherwise. She doesn’t call as often. Doesn’t question me where I am anymore (she used to be quite persistent with tracking me down lol). When we do talk, it’s as if she is indifferent, and distant. She doesn’t chat with me online regularly anymore. We used to everyday per her request, now it’s hard to even get a moment of her time. She says she’s stressed with work, hates her job, but is stuck for now. On her days off, she tells me she gets called in to work and it’s mandatory. I don’t know how to grasp that concept since in the U.S, it’s not like that but she is in the Philippines.


Ok with all of that said, she is confusing the hell out of me. If she doesn’t love me anymore, or there is someone else, why can’t she just be honest and say it. I asked her if it was bc she was “testing the waters” with some other guy and keeping me around as a backup plan. She said that was far from the truth and swore to me that she honestly just needs time to clear her head. But her actions, lack of effort, lack of interest, etc has me believing otherwise. We are already broken up. Why can’t she just come clean? Or am I being a insecure little cry baby and not listening to her? She tells me I just don’t understand and that her lack of communication comes from me not trusting her words. Well, I think I have a right to feel that way after she lost my trust. She should be doing things that regain my trust back. Instead, she is making it worse. Please help me make sense of all of this. I am literally going insane I think.

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